ABOUT

Blind Emotions

Author: Silence113
Title: Blind Emotions
Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/12812/5/blind-emotions-changmin-dbsk-korean-tvxq
Reviewer: [ Sung.ii.ee ]
Site: Writers Strike - VST http://writer-strike-vst.blogspot.com/

Title: 2/5
Title is good and fits your plot line only in matters of Eunsae hiding her emotions from Changmin and Changmin hanging with another girl. But on other hand, it isn't that attractive for me to have chosen it in a list of titles.

Poster/Background: 8/10
I like the poster and the background, and the colors chosen are greatly matching with the mood of your story. I deducted a few points for the quote at the bottom that says "Be happy always" - English may not be my first language, but in my opinion, the topic of the words is a bit odd; and another point for the fact that 'Follow' is written 'Follor'. Other than those, it's nice.

Forewords: 9/10
Greatly written, portrayed your characters and the relations between them, a sneak peek into the story... I can't comment anything here. In spite of your detailed descriptions, I couldn't quite portray your characters as persons - in means of I only knew a slight insight of them from all the story, but that's only my point of view (mind me, I'm that kind of person who prefers revealing everything about the characters in the forewords.)

Plot: 10/15
The plot is nicely developed, with no skips or whatsoever, no time leaps and so on. I'm a sucker for love triangle stories, so you caught me on the good step. You made a good choice regarding the actions, but I expected more, even if it only has 5 chapters.

Creativity/Originality: 4/15
As much as I said I liked your plot and your story, I have to say here that it isn't original. In means of I've reviewed quite a handful of stories that implicate a boy stuck in between two girls, where his best friend chooses to leave him with the other girl. I would've expected you to compensate the cliche-ness of your plot with some fresh twists and turns.

Flow: 10/10
I have nothing to object here. 5 chapters overlook quite few days, but I think the flow is great.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
Again, flawless. Or maybe a few sliiiiiiight errors here and there that maybe you made from fast typing, but they aren't observable. Your vocabulary, on the other hand, is average. I think you know that your readers' main language can't always be English and used your words carefully, so we wouldn't read with a dictionary next to us! But, again, after I saw the way you balanced dialogue with detail, I expected more from your vocabulary.

Characterization: 7/10
After I thought a while at this kind of plot, I started thinking the 'best friend' is quite sadist - she'd like to see him suffer next to that other girl instead of making him happy with her presence. And she's conscious of the fact that he doesn't enjoy the 'other girl's' presence, but she still obliges her own conscience to think that he's happy with the other. Get what I mean? XD

Writing Style: 9/10
Your writing style is good, neat and balanced. I like it.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
I only enjoyed your story in means of liking the plot as it is. But you know how someone feels when they read almost the same thing over and over again? That was pretty much my feeling.

Sub-Total: 70/100

Extras: 3/5
I apologize for taking this much time to finish your review. I finished reading your story in one go, but my schedule was horrid these days. I barely took time to stay at the computer and re-read just to refresh my impression over your story and I FINALLY got some time on my hands (since it's the end of the semester, HALLELUJAH!) and done it. Also, I might have been a bit harsh on some parts, but I just wanted you to improve. Continue writing and always listen to your readers' opinions :). Constructive criticism and exercise is the best way to improvement.

Total: 73/105